14:45 - 19:15

"Right at this moment I am the luckiest person in the world.

Time goes by
People change
But at this second
Only you and I
Remain placid"


This place is crowded
hot and humid,
people are whispering
talking
shouting
and laughing.
Their skin
touches mine
every once in a while.
Various scents
disturb my senses,
some are pleasing
and others
revolting.
I keep walking
passing by strangers,
mentally portraying
each person's story
behind their worn out masks.
And I get tired because
the barriers are too thick
they don't let me in,
how can they
if they can't even remember
their own stories of life?

Yes,
I want to see a face,
a Chinese girl
with a delicate
porcelain face.
I don't care about her past
I don't care who she is
all I want is her unique face
hanged on my wall.
She's the only one
I'm not interested
in her story.
Why?
Because she only serves
for one purpose,
and that is
to be right in the middle
of a lonely wall.
How many of us are mere decorations,
accessories to others?
I can't count.

But when I look
at you
and those words
you wrote,
I know we ain't
each other's accessories
and I'm driven away
from this chaotic world.
I can't help it
but to taste some of the greatest
flavours of life:
sweetness
warmth
simplicity
and
surtout l'amour.

Am I an exaggerator?

Where Is The Apple Of Your Eyes?

People say there is always a place in the sun for everyone. Especially for those who want to chase the world. They often close their eyes and think of someone they find themselves in love with. In love with, what a strong phenomenon connecting every single one of us with each other. Yes. You can't see it until you really feel it. If that's true, there must be a place in the sun for those who are in love then.

Postcards

She wrote:
"When the mistake we made was in never having planned to fall in love"
I'm still in love with you. What should I do?

He replied:
I'm doing all right :)
You should move on dear.
"Distance must come between love"

She kept sending him postcards from most of the places she travelled to. He kept replying whenever he could. One day she stopped. He wondered why, and started to send her postcards more and more often. But she never replied. A total of 125 postcards were sent between them. He decided to find her. When he did, she said: There's no distance. And now you know you're in love.

To Zayit

I'm awake,
the first thing I see
is the white ceiling above me
cracking and ready to crash me
down
down
and down.

I can't remember when exactly. It happened in such a smooth way. I could barely have noticed until I saw myself picturing us together, more and more often, everyday. By then I realized I felt something. Strong. For you.

Why? Why you? Was it the way you laughed? Or how you made me laugh at your witty outbreaks? The difference or the sum of it did matter a lot to me. It was helplessly annoying to decipher the reason behind.

It could have been the way you made us feel comfortable with each other. I didn't have to pretend whom I wasn't. And you didn't have to wear any make up or act like a complete doll at my presence. You were special because you could be stupidly silly making it unbelievable for a woman your age acting like a moron every once in a while. But at times you were too mature and responsible, talking and questioning about certain things most people don't. Yes, it hurt talking to you, but in a funny way. And that made me constantly smile because you were just like that. Easy to talk to. Pleasant to deal with. Even though you never missed a chance to show your sarcasm.

Silence. Your mind and heart could easily be absent. You allow yourself to shut up and be a total boredom when you are distracted, shy or simply unwilling to pronounce anything. Different from others, indifferent from what they made up about you. I was addicted. Addicted. Addicted to you.

My addiction never faded away. I was and still am an addict. Who said I wanted to be treated?

But I still don't know what you wanted from me. I tried to see beneath your smile and your naive looks. But nothing. I couldn't read. I was too into you or you were too good preventing people from reading you, only the things you didn't mind them to know. Yes, you were unfair. You made people tell you everything, yet you tell them things you think aren't that important but driving them to think you'd told some sort of secret, only the closest and intimate ones would have the luck to share with you. You did it so well. But the things you told me were not necessarily told to anyone else. See how tricky you were?

And now what? This whole thing is boring. Tiring. Ridiculous. And unimportant now. Is it really?

Now I'm telling you it's not the first heart that you break and you won't be the last beautiful girl. But I can't help it. So just talk to me again if you are out there. Please.

Love Is Very Simple

I'm listening to it. To the song we didn't speak the language of, but still understood the lyrics. How strange was it... 2 days before my departure I wrote at the back of a polaroid picture we took - when can we begin to value not only what is disclosed through words... - and I hung it on your wall full of other pictures. 6 days later when I was tidying up my stuff I found a funny picture of us, and at the back it said - when it comes, we begin to recognize the myriad other ways we can express our love for others. Yes, I'm still listening to it. Love is, indeed, very simple.

Surprised

This makes me feel really good after realizing how I never received anything like that before until an hour ago. Not the way as I've imagined it to be, but it came out... very pleasing and funny at the same time. Life's so unpredictable.

How gigantic... :)

Inside A Bubble

I don't know what is going on. I feel like I have no hold of myself, my thoughts and my actions. The world seems so confusing and promising that I no longer know if this is real or mere fantasy. No. I'm lying. This place where I'm living doesn't promise me anything but neither is it confusing. My actions, thoughts and myself are well controlled. No, again, it's not true. Let me put it this way: my actions are not controlled because my thoughts are often too complex for such a simple minded self to understand and as a consequence, it causes misunderstandings and contradictory actions as a way of my thoughts' reaction generated by myself. I'm tired. If you're out there, tell me something I don't know just yet.