What He Thinks, How He Feels

If you really cared about me
if you truly paid attention to my words
you wouldn't have hurt me this much
and I'm telling you
this ain't the first time
and I'm wondering
if I'm only your hobby
or someone whom you claimed
means everything to you.

It's not about you wearing
this or that
with or without
it's the times you showed
you didn't hear
or simply have forgotten
my words
words which came out from my heart
when I said
"please don't hurt me"
are you listening to me now?

Take My Hand And Never Fleak It Away

On the 23rd of April, at 1:08 pm, you said I'm reckless, spoiled and I've an attitude problem.

But today I tell you what my biggest problem is: I'm ridiculously clingy and I'm going to stick with you forever whether you like it or not, and there's no way you can ditch me out.

Hey

I miss you but I don't need to see you all the time.
I love you but I'm not in love with you.
I'm very selfish and I enjoy tasting happiness through various ways, and you're one of the ways that I'm interested in to take a sip of joy and excitement.













I know you don't love me which is fine because I've stopped expecting that from you.
I will never leave whom I've won because of you, since you're only an extra way for me to feel the heat. He means everything to me, even though I'm greedy, reckless and have intentions to cheat.
Are we clear now?

Me & Mr. Jones

I hate it when I put myself in situtions where I'm cursed to think and rethink a thousand things regarding this one person. Why can't my mind be more open and use that energy on several people instead of focusing on him only? Work brain, work! But it's not about my brain, it's my heart... and that's complicated...

You

I keep picturing you in front of me, starring into my eyes waiting for me to tell you how exactly I'm feeling. Nervous? Tense? Breathless maybe? I don't know, because you aren't really in front of my face. I've to say I miss you. But part of me keeps denying it saying that I just want you to be next to me, and that's not the same as missing you. And perhaps all I want is companionship. Does it sound familiar? Yes, because you just told me that's all you want from me. Companionship. Guess what, I'm greedy and selfish and I love myself more than anyone else. I don't want companionship from you. I don't need that from you if I can have it with someone else. I want you to be next to me so I can tell you how much I needed this moment to come true,

how desperate I am to let you know I'm not in love with you but I can't shake you out of my mind, how curious I am to see if we really hold hands and act like a normal couple could lead us to somewhere called a-serious-relationship-sort-of-thing. But you are not here. You never were because we wanted different things from the very first moment we met. I hate you. I hate you for being yourself. And the funny thing is I hate myself for not telling lies without blinking too much my eyes...

Rule 1.7: Never Be Too Far Away From You

Been away for 5 days

was so distracted that

I couldn't find my ways

until I finally got back

to your arms with a smile

once again...

I Want To Taste That Again

I keep longing for the past
trying to rewind back to observe every single detail
dying to feel what was felt before
desperate to breathe the air I inhaled
this obsessiveness for living those past sweet moments again and again
only to prove to myself that those precise minutes
hours, days and nights really did exist
is driving me crazy...