The 110 Things I Do When You're Not Around

Putting my bag and breakfast in a corner
turning on my computer
sitting and day dreaming in front of the monitor
while having in a hurry the same breakfast every morning
checking emails
most of them from annoying creatures
still have to deal with them with a smile
but with a growing rage inside
suppressing this negative vibe
while everyone around seems to gossip
about him and her and you and me
making calls to confirm this and that
waiting for replies and some other calls
a glimpse of your face appears in my head
feeding the need to see you asap
but then an imaginary hand slaps my face
telling me to wake up
and stop dreaming this soon
lunch time has arrived
but it's too hot outside
can hardly breathe under the burning sun and heavy air
laying myself on the sofa
with my chubby cat starring at me with a grumpy face
try to take a nap for a few minutes
before I've to rush back to work
walking the same path everyday
wishing you were holding my hand
to make things look a lot brighter
a lot more interesting and colorful
but then I hear the cars horning
people shouting
dragging me to reality
to my working desk
another set of paper works
and calls and emails and meetings
and people to deal with
and it's almost time to go
suddenly
I'm reminded to breathe
to live
to truly smile
only because I get to see you waiting for me outside my workplace.

Thank you for giving me the oxygen I crave from you.

Unbearable

My biggest fear is to see my beloved ones getting old and inevitably leaving me without ever being able to touch, smell, talk and be with them again. Just the thought of it gives me heartache...

Stranger?

It's funny how you see someone passing by, someone you were once intimate with, someone whom promised you the world, as a stranger, a complete unimportant creature to you now. All the memories you both had, glimpse in front of your eyes covering the unrecognizable face you happen to bump into. For a few seconds, you get haunted by those sweet words and gestures you two exchanged, but then you are back to the present and forget about the rest. This is reality. Nothing lasts. Yesterday she was the love of my life. Today she is only a girl, a hot one passing me by who doesn't have the energy or the patience to look at me. Fair enough, it's not like I'm dying for her attention. I've been there, done it, and moved on. She's not the only girl in town. Not the only hot one. Moreover, her temper was unbearable. She was selfish, bitchy and demanding. Was always ready to criticize this and that. Whenever I was 2 minutes late, she would shout like a mental freak and make a scene in front of everyone scaring the shit out of the grannies. She was never satisfied with the food I cooked or the dishes I washed because she was too much of a princess and I was only her man-maid at home who had to wash her underwear, iron her tiny shirts and clean her heals. Oh, and I was always an useless and weak little boy to her only because I insisted to visit my mom on her birthday when my princess had to do her nails and was too moody to check on my 76 year old mom. So fuck it. She's the past now. I don't need to think of her or listen to her mean words when she's on her period.















It's funny, how I still remember so many things about her. This stranger.

Shopping Center 109

I was wandering aimlessly.
Waiting for something amazing to happen.
Something unexpectedly sweet to light up my day.
I bumped into a big wave of people.
Of things. Of scenarios.
But none of them touched my heart.
I was so close to leave this massive and empty place.
Until your hand caught mine and asked me to go shopping with you.
For a while.
For a day.
Forever.

Tell Me

Can we really live with each other for the rest of our lives? I don't know why, but right now, right this moment, I'm scared...

Love Me or Leave Me

- Say you're sorry. No more no less. I've had enough of your ridiculous coldness. You either love me, or leave me. Stop pretending you still want me. Miss me. And need me. Tell me to my face you are not interested at all, and just turn your back to me. I want to walk away too but I need you to say you're sorry first.


- Why should I apologize? And I've told you many times I'm not the type of telling you sweet things. That's just not me. You want to stay then fine. If you don't, and are tired of me then go. We move on separately. I don't see why you have to make things so complicated. I told you I like you. And that's all.

- Just leave me then.

- Fine... If that's what you want.

What He Thinks, How He Feels

If you really cared about me
if you truly paid attention to my words
you wouldn't have hurt me this much
and I'm telling you
this ain't the first time
and I'm wondering
if I'm only your hobby
or someone whom you claimed
means everything to you.

It's not about you wearing
this or that
with or without
it's the times you showed
you didn't hear
or simply have forgotten
my words
words which came out from my heart
when I said
"please don't hurt me"
are you listening to me now?