An Image Of It

You see a picture of a car in it.
A really nice car.
But I tell you that's not a car.
You find it contradictory.
Still I keep telling you in a very assertive way that that's not a car.
You find me annoying and ridiculous.
At the end you say "you just don't know how to satisfy people emotionally".
All I can say is - try to get into that car then, you can't 'cause that's not a car, but an image of it.
You turn to me and hug me closely to your chest.
But I find it suffocating because I'm just too emotionally satisfied with you.
You say "is this true love or just an image of it then?".
I turn my back to you and wave goodbye with tears on my face.

Apartment 1.4

When I opened the door and saw you turning around to see who it was, all I wanted to say was "take my love and wear it, don't you ever take it off"... But before I had time to do so, your lips were already touching mine with such a strength that only God, if there was any, could separate us with His mighty powers.

455 Heartbeats Of Possessiveness

There are times

when part of your past

your present

triggers me

those are the times

when I realize

how jealous and possessive

I can be

feelings that I've never

noticed myself to have

towards anyone else

before,

those are the times

when I know

this is it

this is the man

the right guy

who's been able

to awake all these

disturbing senses

in me

driving me extremely

annoying

possessive

jealous

and ridiculous

when I know

she and she and another she

had

or trying to have

whatever something

with you,

I'm sorry

but should I apologize?

why should I?

no, I shouldn't

'cause this is me

this is how I am

when I'm sure

I want

I need

I must be with

you

when I know

I'm the right one for you

the only

you must be with

need

and want

so please,

bear with

my stubbornness

my childishness

my possessiveness

because

you are

my man

and mine only.

Looking For The Moon In The Morning

I called you because I needed to hear your voice. Not because I had something to tell you. You once said "it's not about what you do or say, what matters, at times, it's the things that you were supposed to do and say but you just don't do it! that's what matters the most!"... Yea, that's what matters the most... I miss you. I miss you so much... I almost thought I saw you in the lift today, until I saw his face and realized there was this huge disappointment dropped on me. You weren't there. Once again, I was in a crowded place feeling the loneliest person in the world only because you weren't next to me.

And here I am, repeating the same mistake by not saying out loud what's inside me, what is supposed to be said. I guess that's the reason why we are apart until the day when I can finally tell you what you've been waiting for so long.

R.I.P.

His wife is gone. He told us they were all prepared for the worst after all these years of pain. Still his eyes were swollen because of the many tears he left the other night. They'd been together for more than 50 years, it'd been a long run for them. Seeing the love of his life leaving must had been really painful and desperate, which only he can describe if words can really portrait the hurt. He shed some tears while giving us a candy, which is a tradition when people pass away. He tried hard not to show a tiny chunk of his weakness, but it was obvious that it was too painful to retain too much hurt in his heart.

Cars are racing out there because of the annual Grand Prix, but the silence here in the office is louder than the noise they make...

Love(s)

I'm not really sure if this is love. Well, at least not anymore. Call me selfish. Call me whatever you want for coming up with such a conclusion without asking for your opinion. There's no one else to blame, except myself. I thought everything was beautiful. Everything was unique. Too different from the previous ones. But not really. They all end up to be the same thing. The same boring cycle of falling in love and then.. out of love.

Letters

I woke up and you weren't next to me. All I could see was an empty pillow with only a few of your hair laying on it. I pulled your pillow and the duvet close to me so I could inhale your smell. That smell was so you. Only you have it. I felt like shit knowing that you were once there, but there was no way I could see you, hold you, kiss you in that precise moment. I missed you then. I missed you like hell. I missed you like I never missed anyone else.

When I was wandering around with my thoughts, I remembered the letters I wrote to you but never had the courage to send them because they just weren't good enough... Because you deserve so much more...
















23rd of September, 2010

The nights are becoming longer which means it's taking me longer to fall asleep. There could be a million reasons why I can't just close my eyes and sleep like any other creature. But none of them beats the fact that it's because of you. Because you aren't next to me. Not that you make me fall asleep. Is the sense that the person I care and love the most is actually next to me. Right next to me so I can look at him and feel the safest, the luckiest person in the world... Is the sense that whenever I have nightmares I can feel your arms wrapped tightly around me, making me able to fall asleep again... Is the sense that in case I suddenly wake up, I can look at your face and kiss your lips without you knowing... And I crave for all that... I miss you... I miss spending every day and night with you here at 395... Come back home please.


23rd of October, 2010

Another month's gone. Time passes by in such a slow motion. I need you here. I need you. My head is hurting and I'm really close to explode... You're my drug... The only remedy to keep me alive... Yes, you've got a tremendous responsibility on your shoulders... And I'm tied to you now... So please, keep drugging me just like the past year and 2 months...


I don't need to write you letters anymore... Simply because you deserve to hear them when your eyes cross with mine.