Please Stop

I can't count how many times I've to do it in a day anymore.

If only I could control it.

If only it could stop.

2nd Day Without You

The humidity is so heavy today
even strong sun lights couldn't hide
the powerful and depressing
particles of heavy water vapor in the air.

Lots of people passed me by
some were smiling others not so
I heard kids laughing, amused in their own little world
while my world is currently so black and empty.

Flowers bright me up most of the time
when I keep battling with the loneliness inside me
but not today when you are not around
to give me the warmest hug and kiss after a long day work.

Today is not worse than yesterday
because from the very moment you left
it was already dark and sad enough
and nothing can get worse and lonelier than the moment we kissed goodbye.

Today On A Saturday

And so that was the last time I cuddled and kissed you willingly. It's not like I'm emotionally immune to you right now. I still have feelings for you. Is just things have changed I guess. It's like having ice-cream but not my favourite flavour. I need time to switch off. I need time to move on. I need time to find the right flavour again. It feels like shit when you get rejected. You think to yourself if you are really that bad that even he rejects you. I tried, but didn't work. I'm tremendously upset now, but nobody knows how upset I am exactly. Not even him. Because we are different. Because he doesn't live in the same pace as mine. Because we don't share the same feelings anymore. Maybe I'm being too pessimistic. Too dramatic. Too exaggerated. After all, we only had an argument. People argue and they make up for what's broken. But, if something is broken, how can you glue the pieces back together without showing any scars? You don't. You either turn a blind eye. Or you face it. Or you break it again testing how far the same shit can be broken once again. I'm lonely. I'm surrounded by people everyday. By you. You who were supposed to be my closest. My dearest. My love. But I don't know since when I started to float away from you. Or you decided to move faster without me. I don't know. If only there was someone who could feed my hunger for love. For security. For patience. For everything I don't have right now, not even with you.

Lost And Will Never Be Found

I have this urge to message you, to tell you how much I missed you. But I no longer have your number.