August 23, 2011

Number 2

She was at the same bar, drinking the usual glass of wine, waiting for the same person every night.


He was working there, serving numerous drinks, chit chatting with his customers, longing for the one who can truly talk and listen to him.

The bar was called Number 2. The boss named it, hoping that lonely souls could have a nice time there, and leaving the place holding hands with someone who make them feel special.


A lot of the customers did indeed meet their other halves there. Some lasted, some not so lucky.


It was Christmas Eve, and the place was crowded with people cheering, laughing, enjoying the night.


But the woman wasn't there. The bar tender was wondering after all she was bored and had other better things to do on that special night.


When the bar was about to close, the woman was there. He was surprised to see her and asked if he could help her with anything.


She said: come home with me, that's the place we belong together.


He couldn't believe in his eyes. He ran to her and asked: honey, you finally remember me!!!! Yes yes, we go home now, we go back to our home now my sweetie...


They met many years ago in that bar, but her memory was slowly deteriorating until she couldn't recognize most of the people she knew. She only remembered the bar, the glass of wine, the same table and chair where she met the man of her life. He had been tremendously patient with her throughout the years hoping that one day, for a split second she remembered him, holding his hand to walk back home, together. And finally that day had arrived.

July 27, 2011

Uncontrollable 111


It was precisely 111 heartbeats I had in the exact minute when you looked into my eyes and whispered "I will always, always love you my woman". I don't care if those words will one day fade away, or whatsoever. Right in that moment, even right now, I embraced and will keep believing in that simple yet melting whisper.

July 14, 2011

................

i think i'm depressed.

i'm just exaggerating.

but i'm really unwell.

July 07, 2011

Here We Go Again

I really hate
missing you
I hate that
annoying
tingling
pinch
right in my heart
reminding me
how much
I miss
seeing
your stupid face
I hate
the fact
that I still
think of you
even though
I've promised myself
not to.
I hate it.

June 24, 2011

So, We're The Humans!


People are fascinating creatures. Not because we do a lot of good deeds. Fascinating because we do far too much destructive and complicated things to hurt each other just to prove we have brains and are superior than cockroaches. And at the end of the day, we're the ones who have to suffer from our genius actions.

June 23, 2011

The 110 Things I Do When You're Not Around















Putting my bag and breakfast in a corner
turning on my computer
sitting and day dreaming in front of the monitor
while having in a hurry the same breakfast every morning
checking emails
most of them from annoying creatures
still have to deal with them with a smile
but with a growing rage inside
suppressing this negative vibe
while everyone around seems to gossip
about him and her and you and me
making calls to confirm this and that
waiting for replies and some other calls
a glimpse of your face appears in my head
feeding the need to see you asap
but then an imaginary hand slaps my face
telling me to wake up
and stop dreaming this soon
lunch time has arrived
but it's too hot outside
can hardly breathe under the burning sun and heavy air
laying myself on the sofa
with my chubby cat starring at me with a grumpy face
try to take a nap for a few minutes
before I've to rush back to work
walking the same path everyday
wishing you were holding my hand
to make things look a lot brighter
a lot more interesting and colorful
but then I hear the cars horning
people shouting
dragging me to reality
to my working desk
another set of paper works
and calls and emails and meetings
and people to deal with
and it's almost time to go
suddenly
I'm reminded to breathe
to live
to truly smile
only because I get to see you waiting for me outside my workplace.

Thank you for giving me the oxygen I crave from you.

June 22, 2011

Unbearable




My biggest fear is to see my beloved ones getting old and inevitably leaving me without ever being able to touch, smell, talk and be with them again. Just the thought of it gives me heartache...

June 15, 2011

Stranger?

It's funny how you see someone passing by, someone you were once intimate with, someone whom promised you the world, as a stranger, a complete unimportant creature to you now. All the memories you both had, glimpse in front of your eyes covering the unrecognizable face you happen to bump into. For a few seconds, you get haunted by those sweet words and gestures you two exchanged, but then you are back to the present and forget about the rest. This is reality. Nothing lasts. Yesterday she was the love of my life. Today she is only a girl, a hot one passing me by who doesn't have the energy or the patience to look at me. Fair enough, it's not like I'm dying for her attention. I've been there, done it, and moved on. She's not the only girl in town. Not the only hot one. Moreover, her temper was unbearable. She was selfish, bitchy and demanding. Was always ready to criticize this and that. Whenever I was 2 minutes late, she would shout like a mental freak and make a scene in front of everyone scaring the shit out of the grannies. She was never satisfied with the food I cooked or the dishes I washed because she was too much of a princess and I was only her man-maid at home who had to wash her underwear, iron her tiny shirts and clean her heals. Oh, and I was always an useless and weak little boy to her only because I insisted to visit my mom on her birthday when my princess had to do her nails and was too moody to check on my 76 year old mom. So fuck it. She's the past now. I don't need to think of her or listen to her mean words when she's on her period.















It's funny, how I still remember so many things about her. This stranger.

May 23, 2011

Shopping Center 109















I was wandering aimlessly.
Waiting for something amazing to happen.
Something unexpectedly sweet to light up my day.
I bumped into a big wave of people.
Of things. Of scenarios.
But none of them touched my heart.
I was so close to leave this massive and empty place.
Until your hand caught mine and asked me to go shopping with you.
For a while.
For a day.
Forever.

May 05, 2011

Tell Me






Can we really live with each other for the rest of our lives? I don't know why, but right now, right this moment, I'm scared...

April 29, 2011

Love Me or Leave Me

- Say you're sorry. No more no less. I've had enough of your ridiculous coldness. You either love me, or leave me. Stop pretending you still want me. Miss me. And need me. Tell me to my face you are not interested at all, and just turn your back to me. I want to walk away too but I need you to say you're sorry first.


- Why should I apologize? And I've told you many times I'm not the type of telling you sweet things. That's just not me. You want to stay then fine. If you don't, and are tired of me then go. We move on separately. I don't see why you have to make things so complicated. I told you I like you. And that's all.

- Just leave me then.

- Fine... If that's what you want.

April 27, 2011

What He Thinks, How He Feels















If you really cared about me
if you truly paid attention to my words
you wouldn't have hurt me this much
and I'm telling you
this ain't the first time
and I'm wondering
if I'm only your hobby
or someone whom you claimed
means everything to you.

It's not about you wearing
this or that
with or without
it's the times you showed
you didn't hear
or simply have forgotten
my words
words which came out from my heart
when I said
"please don't hurt me"
are you listening to me now?

April 25, 2011

Take My Hand And Never Fleak It Away



On the 23rd of April, at 1:08 pm, you said I'm reckless, spoiled and I've an attitude problem.

But today I tell you what my biggest problem is: I'm ridiculously clingy and I'm going to stick with you forever whether you like it or not, and there's no way you can ditch me out.

April 19, 2011

Hey

I miss you but I don't need to see you all the time.
I love you but I'm not in love with you.
I'm very selfish and I enjoy tasting happiness through various ways, and you're one of the ways that I'm interested in to take a sip of joy and excitement.













I know you don't love me which is fine because I've stopped expecting that from you.
I will never leave whom I've won because of you, since you're only an extra way for me to feel the heat. He means everything to me, even though I'm greedy, reckless and have intentions to cheat.
Are we clear now?

April 04, 2011

Me & Mr. Jones

I hate it when I put myself in situtions where I'm cursed to think and rethink a thousand things regarding this one person. Why can't my mind be more open and use that energy on several people instead of focusing on him only? Work brain, work! But it's not about my brain, it's my heart... and that's complicated...

March 29, 2011

You

I keep picturing you in front of me, starring into my eyes waiting for me to tell you how exactly I'm feeling. Nervous? Tense? Breathless maybe? I don't know, because you aren't really in front of my face. I've to say I miss you. But part of me keeps denying it saying that I just want you to be next to me, and that's not the same as missing you. And perhaps all I want is companionship. Does it sound familiar? Yes, because you just told me that's all you want from me. Companionship. Guess what, I'm greedy and selfish and I love myself more than anyone else. I don't want companionship from you. I don't need that from you if I can have it with someone else. I want you to be next to me so I can tell you how much I needed this moment to come true,
how desperate I am to let you know I'm not in love with you but I can't shake you out of my mind, how curious I am to see if we really hold hands and act like a normal couple could lead us to somewhere called a-serious-relationship-sort-of-thing. But you are not here. You never were because we wanted different things from the very first moment we met. I hate you. I hate you for being yourself. And the funny thing is I hate myself for not telling lies without blinking too much my eyes...

March 23, 2011

Rule 1.7: Never Be Too Far Away From You


Been away for 5 days

was so distracted that

I couldn't find my ways

until I finally got back

to your arms with a smile

once again...



March 02, 2011

I Want To Taste That Again















I keep longing for the past
trying to rewind back to observe every single detail
dying to feel what was felt before
desperate to breathe the air I inhaled
this obsessiveness for living those past sweet moments again and again
only to prove to myself that those precise minutes
hours, days and nights really did exist
is driving me crazy...

February 23, 2011

Let's Keep Walking




Knowing that you would do anything, simply anything to put a smile on my face reminds me of how much you complete my life with your love and patience. Thank you for walking past 547.5 blocks with me.

January 24, 2011

He Said, I Wrote And He Read











"Do not think you can get to know a person a lot better by reading what he or she writes because words are just one way of masking oneself..." - that was what he used to tell me when I first started writing. But for some strange reasons, he would always read what I wrote and wonder if those stories were real, were related to me at all. It doesn't matter if they were or not really... Because like he said "words are just one way of masking oneself", but I guess everything has its roots somewhere to start with...

January 23, 2011

Right On Time




You were 1 hour and 5 minutes late to pick me up that morning. In spite of that, thank you for not coming to my life any later because you made me find happiness a lot sooner.

January 20, 2011

Perhaps A French Way To Say It, No?

- I love you.

- I love you too.

- Why do you say "I love you too"?

- Because I do!

- No, I don't want you to say it like that! Just say "I love you"!

- Okok... I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!

- No! Not like that!

- Geez! What do you want me to say then? I just said I LOVE YOU!!!

- The thing is why do I have to be the one saying "I love you" first? Why can't you say it first?

- Because you already said it first!!!

- No... I've always been the one saying it first... I just want you to say it first, willingly, without the "you too"...

- Huh?! I say I LOVE YOU TOO because I simply feel the same way as you do to me! What's so wrong in saying that?!

- When you say "you too" it makes me feel you say it just because I say it first... And how do you know how much I love you? I love you a lot, a lot and a lot. But when you say "I love you too" does it ever occur to you wether you feel the same intensity and amount of love I have for you? If not then you shouldn't say "I love you too"...

- God, what are you on about?! Look, I love you too and that's it!

- Why can't you say it like the french do? When a french says "je t'aime" the other goes "moi non plus", it means "me neither" in a sense that "I don't love you more than you do to me"... It means they love each other equally, they both give and receive at the same time...

- Well... I'm not french...

- But maybe you could be one at times...

January 19, 2011

Alone Again















You look at me now
I never cried
because you never
gave me any reason to
not because you've always
been good to me
but because
you just simply
weren't around
to make me shed a tear.

You ask me now
I never told you the entire truth
not because I lied
but because whenever
you asked me something
I just never had enough time
to tell you everything
before you had to
leave in a hurry again.

You hold me now
but I'm no longer
the person you once said
"I love you" to
not because I've changed
but because I simply
just died before your eyes
could witness,
because you were always
somewhere else without me.

And now you tell me
if you are not too late now
when everything ended long ago,
when you had the time
to grasp it close.