Back To Basics (II)

9 months ago

A hectic life, a compulsive lifestyle. What else should be asked for? Maybe, some fresh air? It would flourish the grey sky at least for a bit...
It's been a month since I last saw him. I wonder what he's doing right now.

Why do you love me so much? - he asked.

He used to ask that when we're in bed. Usually I had a good response, but in that precise moment, I just stared at him... I was desperate to tell him "I don't know..."

Do I love you enough then? - he asked.

(If you can.) - I thought.

Umm... I'll love you more... - he whispered.

I can't shake everything away... Memories are still haunting me. He said he'd love me more, he said it! Why are we here then? Why are we running away from each other? Why are we not together? He said it... he did.

I'm empty. He's punishing me for what I didn't do. My life is all routine... Does he give a damn about me? Huh... I bet no... What if I killed myself? Would he care? Would he pick me up and say please don't! Please stay with me!

It's all apparition...

I need him... Why am I still here? Breathing and walking like a living puppet... Why? I just hate myself for not being someone else. There's nothing in me... Look at this mess! This face... this shitty face!!!

Another mirror down... I swear I won't be getting any more mirrors.

To be continued...

Leave Me Now (I)

The clock keeps ticking.
Nobody talks until one of them breaks the silence, turns the music on...

("What a drag it is, the shape I'm in... Well I go out somewhere then I come home again...")

Is that it? - she asks.

("All my life, watching America... All my life, there's panic in America, Oh Oh Oh, Oh... There's trouble in America, Oh Oh Oh, Oh...")

Umm... I gotta go. Call me when you're ready. - he replies.

His back fades away as he shuts the door behind him leaving his past...

("Yesterday was easy, happiness came and went... I got the movie script, but i don't know what it meant...")

Tears are born, drawing fragile paths on her face, stamping the insivible bruises underneath her skin.
The phone rings but she can barely notice.
It keeps ringing, crying out for help but she stands still on the floor forgetting the world, ignoring her existence...
It rings and rings. She finally picks it up.

Yea... - she says.
I just want you know that... That... I'd never want to hurt you... In any way... - he says.
People... Ah... People are already getting hurt... - she whispers.

The conversation is over. Has it ever been on?
She bursts into tears and destroys everything she sees around her, including herself...

("All my life, watching America... All my life, there's panic in America, Oh Oh Oh, Oh... There's trouble in America, Oh Oh Oh, Oh... Tell me how does it feel... Tell me how does it feel... Tell me how does it feel...")

To be continued...