60

I kept chasing it, till it flew too high. All I could do was watching it go, further and further away from where it never belonged.

I see them having a good time. Laughing, drinking and cheering, totally enjoying the night. That girl there, she glances at him every once in a while. And he has no idea of it, just yet. People come here to have a good time after a long day work. Far away from all those driving them crazy during the day. Away from those who are mere fools but are too foolish to admit their incurable disease. That group are having champagne. Young and happy. When was my last time having that? I can't remember. I'm no longer young, but I'm content. Does it mean I'm happy? Maybe. Well, perhaps it doesn't matter anymore, as long as I feel secure and still able to walk without any help. Yes, the older you get, the less you aim for. Life becomes simple... and boring. But it satisfies you, not all the time though. Those two are getting closer. They must be talking about something funny. Look at her smile. And the way he looks at her. What a flirtatious girl she is. Daring and playful. The music is getting louder. Most people are ready to dance. The pair is dancing now and something is soon to happen. And yes, he kissed her. They are looking at each other's eyes and it makes me feel lonely. But I'm glad he did it. He did what I didn't do 60 years ago. And all these years seem like yesterday.

?

Something is not right.
Is it just me or the entire world?
Tell me.

His Story

I don't know what I'm doing here, I don't know what's waiting for me out there. If only you could tell me. I'm tired, ridiculously tired. I can fall asleep with my eyes wide open, thinking of you. Is it any good? Thinking of you can only make things worse. Maybe I should stop then. I should put an end to this inexplicable infatuation towards someone I barely know. Yes, I never really knew you. I'm looking at my hands and they remind me of your lean fingers. They remind me of how we played with our hands while we were at the cinema. Everybody was so concentrated apart from us, wandering around, allowing our hands to make love in such a smooth way. No one noticed. How could they. We did it in such a discreet way. Your hands. I miss them. I can't touch you anymore. And it hurts till I can no longer feel it. I guess I'm immune to any pain right now. I thought I saw you the other day. You were with him and your kids. You looked happy and so content. But no, it wasn't you. You were never satisfied, and it's not now that you're going to be. For that I'm sure of. It was always hard to keep with your appetite. You were picky, extremely demanding. Well, those days are gone now. But I wish I could go back and feed your reckless and selfish hunger. I wish. Where are you? It's not fair you leaving me here alone. We were supposed to start a new episode of our lives together in this unknown city full of excitement and danger. But you left me without a word. You left without saying a proper goodbye. You just left. I knew you weren't that in love with me when you said you were willing to start something new together. I knew it. I just hoped you would change your mind and appreciate what I'd be doing for you. But you needed to leave. Needed to go back. Needed to return to him. I can't count the times you sneaked out to spend some time with him, but I remember all of them. Back then it was painfully irritating to see you lying in front of my face and you knew exactly that I was aware of your lies. But you didn't do anything about it, you just kept lying and digging my heart deeper and deeper to engrave your lies. It hurt a lot. But I was madly in love with you and I couldn't imagine life without you. I'd rather live a lie then be awake in reality when I wouldn't even have the chance to smell you. I was desperate. I am still desperate for a tiny piece of you. When I close my eyes I see the numerous times we held hands, kissed and stared at each other ready to dive into the heat. But I can't kiss you right now. I can't never hold you tight to my chest again. I can only see you passing by and playing with other men. I witness everything including the things I don't want to. But it doesn't bother you does it? Because deep down you think I'm just another man who wasn't courageous enough to accept your wildness. I'm sorry, I couldn't take it. And it's too late now. It's too late to redeem anything. Now, that I'm dead, you're free to do whatever you want with your heart. But please remember, just remember to keep a tiny piece for me.

Can't Hear You

I ask for a glass of water
you give me a bottle,
I ask for half an hour
you give me your entire day,
hey,
aren't you tired?
you give me too much,
indulging me with excessiveness
but without ever handing me what I really want.

Passing By

Yes. I think about you all the time. I can still picture us in different scenarios. Your face occupies my eyes in every single way. Your voice invades my heart giving me that tingling feeling around my spine. Yes, I'm still in love with you. And I've been lying to myself for far too many times. What more can I say. Nothing, really. When what I get from you is a simple "it's nice to see you, let's catch up some other time". What do I expect? Nothing, nothing less than a simple "nice to see you".

What more can I say...

Under The Moon

Everything is so out of focus. This face seems distant. Distorted. Tormented. Aggravated. - she says.

How are you supposed to focus on yourself if you can't even recognize the real you? - he asks.

All I'm longing for is to see beyond what your eyes are reflecting when you look into mine... - she replies.

There's nothing beyond. Because it's been too long since we last crossed our eyes. - he says.

Then maybe we should go back to the start. - she whispers.