January 23, 2010

Waking Up At 1:50

I opened my eyes... and it was still 1:50.

This dream I had was abysmally unpleasant. It was such a foggy day... I was in a crowded place but my eyes couldn't see clearly... All they could give me was blurry images of people coming closer and closer to me without a clear definition of their faces. And so my hands were trying hard to grab whatever they touched just so I could lead my way on. It was very noisy. Strange words were spoken and whispered next to my ears, and I couldn't understand a thing. I tried really hard to decipher every single whisper, but nothing came up. It was as if I was in a foreign country and all those people were trying to tell me something but I just couldn't connect with them. An outsider from wherever I came from. I didn't know what was going on around. Misty faces, colors and objects were passing by in a hurry and I was standing in the middle of nowhere asking for help. Please help me. Where am I? What is this? Can anyone hear me? No. No one stopped. My heart was gradually beating faster and faster and my hands were so sweaty that got me awfully scared. Desperate. And strangely excited in a way. I was so frustrated at the same time because I wanted to get out of that place, I wanted to run and shout. But I couldn't. All I could think of was you. Please grab my hand and take me out of here. Please, only you can drive me away from this madness. Please.

And so I woke up while you were next to me holding me really tight and saying "don't be scared baby, I'm here, I'm always here for you... don't be scared". Yes, only you.

5 comments:

J. Camilo said...

You are a mysterious woman, Cesca... Only words, no face? Mystery. Only words: the first step or stage of mystery. And without the face to look at we cannot progress to the next and probably still more mysterious step or stage... It would be nice to see your face, to see how you look like, what kind of person you are... :-) Is it possible? :-)

Francesca said...

"The possession of knowledge does not kill the sense of wonder and mystery. There is always more mystery", by Anais Nin :)

How are you doing Camilo?

Cesca*

J. Camilo said...

But, Cesca, I already did say it: some knowledge makes it possible to progress in the direction of a more interesting zone of the mystery... :-)


I am fine. What's about you (if you exist beyond the words which keep us believing that you do) ?
:-)

João

Francesca said...

"To progress in the direction of a more interesting zone of the mystery" - if you were forever in the dark, would it matter which direction you would be heading to, knowing that you'd still end up in the dark?

Joao, I'm doing great :) Hope you're as well and don't spend too much time wondering how something mysterious can lead to a greater mystery... hehe...

Cesca*

Anonymous said...

In what stage are you refering to Camilo? Why would you even need a facial structure to progress, to further this imaginative relationship on the interent? Looks like you are hoping, and begging to have something a lot more than just sharing your knowledge and opinions on a piece of article.

I hope you are well Francesca.

Laranja