Day 4

Heavy head. Tired neck. Can't feel my shoulders anymore. Feel like lying on my bed, with no thoughts coming through and not giving birth to new complicated thoughts, simply lying there with an empty heart, empty soul. But I can't. Life goes on even when you feel like giving up. You still need to work. You still need to survive.
Last night was better than the previous ones. I guess I'm getting used to it now. This morning is a bit easier too because I'm starting to realise shit happens and even if I don't want, they still happen to drop on my head. So better wipe them away quick, and face whatever it comes. At the end of the day, there are thousands and thousands of people in much worse situations... So yes, need to be brave and learn to accept things change. People change. There is no "love you forever", "I will always treat you as nice as now", "you're my everything" etc etc etc... There is no unconditional love, apart from the ones parents have for their children. Better to wake up now then 10 years later. Must remember: there are people in worse situations. Must not see myself as a victim. Life goes on and deal with whatever unpleasant situations, because life involves great stuff and shitty things.
My forehead is so big today, I really feel like banging on my desk until I'm numb to whatever pain coming from there.